i sit here with a cup of coffee and an oatmeal cookie.
i still can't seem to be able to picture our days a year from now... not even a month from now... big changes bring new opportunities, new choices, new decisions to make. since we got here we've had to make quite a few decisions... let go of opportunities that could have been good options but for some reason they just didn't feel right.
i've always been proud of the fact that i like to do so many different things, and i can actually be pretty good at whatever i apply myself to. but it can also be a bad thing, because i never really get excellent at anything. just pretty good (or barely ok) at a bunch of different things.
now another opportunity has come up and i'm excited and scared at the same time. and now i realize that i tend to run away from challenges when i'm not sure if i can succeed. i still don't know how i feel about this particular challenge. i just have to wait and see until it's actually in front of me. will i take it? or walk away?
i'm not ambitious when it comes to career goals. and (this might sound bad but...) i don't need to feel like i'm making a contribution to humanity through my job. because i feel that the biggest contribution i can make is outside of work. through service, through raising children that will be of service too, through building a community that is making the most important contribution to humanity. but i also don't want to work just for the sake of accumulating money. but i do want us to have a comfortable life. i want to be able to travel to visit friends and family or buy tickets for them. i want to be able to spend time with my children as much as possible. have time for service. have money for the fund. have a cozy home to receive visitors.
and if we don't get all those things, i still want to be happy and thankful.
two more days for the new year to begin. what will it bring?
Post a Comment